Executive Update
Take Charge Of Those Difficult Conversations Continued from page 4
said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life, and you will call it fate.” Basic emotions are universal, and hardwired into our brain. 5 They include happiness, sadness, anger, fear, disgust, and surprise. But there are also more complex, more nuanced emotions that require thought processing. These include love, hate, jealousy, rage, envy, pride, shame, and guilt. Many of these emotions underlie difficult conversations. Recognizing these emotions is the first step toward managing them. Risks and Consequences of Having Difficult Conversations There are risks associated with initiating a difficult conversation. Under- standing these risks can help you to make a more informed decision about whether to have the conversation, and when. You may worry that: 1. You won’t be liked. This is particularly a concern when a manager has a relational style of interacting with staff. 2. You’ll be labeled unreasonable. Most people want to be liked, so if you’re worried that you’ll be ostracized or treated differently, you may avoid having a necessary conversation. 3. It will only worsen the situation. It’s always possible that a person’s behavior will be even worse after your difficult conversation. It’s also likely that relationships will change, or feelings will get hurt. If you assess your thoughts and emotions before you begin any conversa- tion, you will be able to decrease the potential for negative results. It’s Time to “PRESS” Forward When contemplating a difficult conversation, I use a tool I call PRESS. This five-step process helps you to plan your conversation, and tailor it to the needs of the person you’ll be talking to. 1. Prepare – Assess your thoughts and emotions, and identify the poten- tial risks of your conversation. 2. Relay the information – Present a fact-based description of the behav- ior you’re addressing. Using Jamie and the dress code as an example, if you’re talking to Jamie about her ignoring the dress code, you might say, “Jamie, I noticed you wore open-toed shoes while you were serving yesterday.” 3. Explain your concern – Describe what you’re feeling, or describe the rule or procedure you’re worried about. You might tell Jamie, “I’m very concerned about the potential for injury when you wear the wrong shoes or clothes to serve.” 4. Say something positive – It always helps to reinforce that you are on your staff member’s side. That will set them at ease, and perhaps encour- age other staff to follow your lead. 5. Say what you need – Conversations go two ways, so you need to tell the staff member what must happen to ease the situation. You could tell Jamie, “I need you to wear the required footwear when you’re in the kitchen area.”
1 Communication in the Real World , University of Minnesota Libraries, 2016. (Adapted from a 2013 edition, by a publisher that requests no attribution.) September 29, 2016. https://open.lib.umn.edu/communication Accessed: July 5, 2022. 2 Tami West, The Stress Club , Morning Sky Press, 2016. 3 P. Ekman. “Basic Emotions,” Handbook of Cognition and Emotion . John Wiley & Sons, Ltd., 1999. 4 “Heuristics,” Psychology Today . www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/heuristics Accessed: July 12, 2022. 5 Ekman, “Basic Emotions.” Scripted conversations may feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, they’ll begin to feel quite natural. And before you know it, you will be able to have professional, productive conversations that will gain staff trust, and reinforce your leadership skills.
Tami West is a motivational speaker, trainer, and author, specializing in stress, conflict, emotions, mental wellness, and customer service. She received her PhD in human development in 2013. She has worked in several industries, including healthcare, school nutrition, and corporate sales. Tami was also a public school teacher for 10 years.
Farm To School’s Growing Harvest Continued from page 10
4. The Institute of Child Nutrition (ICN) https://theicn.org/cnss/farm-to-school
As the only federally funded national center, ICN focuses on applied research, education, training and technical assistance to child nutrition programs. Its Child Nutrition Sharing Site (CNSS) is a resource hub for programs around the country, and now features a section devoted specifi- cally to Farm to School. Farm to School builds stronger links between the food we eat, and the people who grow that food. It expands your community, and makes it easier for you to provide healthy, local foods on your menus: two things that will expand your connection with your own customers.
1 “About the Census.” http://farmtoschoolcensus.fns.usda.gov Accessed: July 24, 2022. 2 “Farm to School Grant Program.” http://fns.usda.gov Accessed: July 24, 2022.
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